Is it ever enough ?
In the society of never ending to-do lists, busy schedules and multi tasking, I am sure I can't be the only one who fights with a running mind and self sabotaging thoughts. I mean these days a woman wears so many hats it's becoming overwhelming.
Here is a " typical" day of a busy working woman, mother, wife, small business owner-human, and please tell me in comments below that you can relate :
When I am at my regular full time job, I am thinking all the things I have to do when I get home. At home, I look at all the dishes, laundry, dust and just regular mess but than I also know my small-business is waiting and the sewing will not get done by itself. I have to get back on track, fabrics are piled up, time is running out. Winter season, spring season, wait.. Ramadan season.. Tax season? I start to feel the anxiety in my stomach as it grows and my heart starts beating faster.
While sewing my mind is not still, random thoughts are just coming in ..
" Have you seen your kitchen lately ? When is the last time you washed your windows ? Look at the dust! You are neglecting your family! You need to spend more time with your children. Go out on a date with your husband. Oh.. charity, when is the last time you volunteered in the community? Your back is hurting again isn't it ? That's because you don't exercise as much as you should .. why are you not exercising ?
I get up and try to get onto my elliptical for about 30-40 minutes. While I do that, my mind is telling me stuff again..
" Look at you working out, but what's the point the 30 minutes will not undo the damage ..Look at all the books on that shelf, you said you would read them, when will you read the books? When will you recite or memorize more Qur'an ? You are working out but have you started dinner yet ? What's the point of a workout when you don't have a " pre-made healthy meal system " .. Get off, start preparing something healthy.
While preparing dinner, more thoughts.. " Hurry up, the fabrics are waiting, you have shipping to get done, messages to answer, a post to write.. ..
Is this all worth it ? When is the last time you actually had fun? Went out with friends ? Wait, they are busy too. They have children and after school activities, sports, Qur'an classes, every time you call one of them all you hear is " Oh my god, I am going crazy the list is never ending, I am running like a chicken in circles, I am so exhausted and nothing is done."
No matter what we do, their is some kind of an urge or feeling that we should be doing something else instead. Something more important.
I feel no matter how much we do, it is never enough.
Is this the norm of today's society, or did we do this to ourselves?
How do you learn to stay present and actually just enjoy the moment ?
As I am writing this my mind is telling me" look at the time " you need to go pray, make dinner, go back to sewing, maybe exercise , shower, get ready for work ?
When is it enough ?
Share in comments, do you feel similar ? Have you found a method that works for you when you feel this way ?
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